Evil HHH: Man it’s been a while since we were in the UK!
Kofi: Yup.
HHH: It’s been a rough couple of weeks for everyone. Maybe getting out of the country is good for up.
Kofi: Yup.
HHH: Got a big show tonight. Dave has a match with Seth Rollins! And I’m gonna be-
(Ground rumbles)
(Door flies open)
Vince: WELCOME EVERYONE. TO MONDAY NIGHT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW.
HHH: Hey dad.
Vince: Oh boys. BOYS. We’re back in JOLLY OLD ENGLAND! The land of hot little crumpets and wankers who don’t know how to please them! I couldn’t be in a better mood!
Kofi: What about the company stock, man?
Vince: WHO CARES ABOUT THAT? I’m away from the wife and ready to show some limeys my COCKNEY ACCENT!
Kofi: The hell’s that even mean, man?
Vince: How about you, Kofi? Have you ever had SEXUAL INTERCOURSE with a lady?
Kofi: Well, I…
Vince: Oh! OH! Old Kofi here is NOT a virgin! WHAT A MANEUVER!
*slaps Kofi on the ass. HARD*
Kofi: Motherfuckin’ ow man!
Vince: Oh quit complaining! You almost made me forget about my first order of business! NICKNAMES.
HHH: Here we go again…
Vince: HHH! Your new nickname is THE UNDERTAKER. Because you have a long STREAK of burying people!
(door flies open)
Heyman: Did someone say STREAK?
HHH: Oh Jesus fuck.
Heyman: MYCLIENTBROCKLESNARCONQUEREDTHESTREAKATWRESTLEMANIA MYCLIENTBROCKLESNARCONQUEREDTHESTREAKATWRESTLEMANIA MYCLIENTBROCKLESNARCONQUEREDTHESTREAKATWRESTLEMANIA MYCLIENTBROCKLESNARCONQUEREDTHESTREAKATWRESTLEMANIA MYCLIENTBROCKLESNARCONQUEREDTHESTREAKATWRESTLEMANIA MYCLIENTBROCKLESNARCONQUEREDTHESTREAKATWRESTLEMANIA MYCLIENTBROCKLESNARCONQUEREDTHESTREAKATWRESTLEMANIA
Vince: SHUT UP.
Heyman: …my client Cesaro won the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal at Wrestlemania.
*leaves*
HHH: The hell is with that guy?
Vince: That doesn’t matter. Now, second order of business: STOCK PRICES.
HHH: Fuck. Uhhhhh. It’s Miz’s fault! He keeps messing up his lines while shooting The Marine 7 and it’s raising production costs!
Vince: NO NO NO. The crash has to do with one person and one person alone: VINCENT. KENNEDY. MCMAHON.
HHH: Wat.
Vince: That’s right! IT WAS MEEEEEEEEEEEE HUNTER. IT WAS ME ALL ALONG.
HHH: Why in the motherfucking fuck would you do this?
Vince: Because I’m BORED. You and Steph are running the company. Linda always has a headache. And that Dixie Carter stopped responding to me after I TOUTED my dick to her! I’ve got nothing to do, dammit so I decided to SHAKE THINGS UP.
HHH: But dad. You’ve lost almost 400 million dollars. How are you planning on fixing this?
Vince: Oh, it’s simple. I called an emergency shareholders meeting and I sent your Director of Operations to oversee it!
HHH: Oh. Well that’s not so bad. Kane can handle- Wait. What day is today?
(Cut to Stamford)
Kane: YOU SHARE HOLDERS ARE GOING TO FEEL. MY PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN.
*sets building on fire*
Sharholders: *bloodcurdling screams*
(Cut back)
Vince: Well, I’m sure that problem is solved!
HHH: Oh God. I gotta make some phone calls!
Vince: I sure hope Punk showed up. I sent him tickets to a “hockey game” in Stamford!
Kofi: You crazy, man.
Vince: You’re damn right! Now go make me back my MONAAAAAAAAAAAAY. Or you’re fired, JTG!